Anger is probably the most poorly handled emotion in our society. From time to time we all experience this very powerful feeling. Some of the common causes of anger include frustration, hurt, annoyance, disappointment, harassment and threats. It is helpful to realize that anger can be our friend or foe, depending on how we express it. Knowing how to recognize and express it appropriately can help us to reach goals, handle emergencies, solve problems and even protect our health. However, failure to recognize and understand our anger may lead to a variety of problems.

Some experts believe that suppressed anger is an underlying cause of both anxiety and depression. Anger that is not expressed can disrupt relationships, affect thinking and behavior patterns, and create a variety of physical problems, such as high blood pressure, heart problems, headaches, skin disorders, and digestive problems. What's even worse is the correlation between the dangers of uncontrolled anger and crime, emotional and physical abuse, and other violent behavior. You can help yourself to manage your anger by:

• Learning to become more aware of what you are feeling, and recognize your anger when it occurs. Notice your particular signs that anger is building (e.g. becoming tense, short with others, developing a headache, etc.).
  
• Asking yourself “What is really bothering me?” Notice whether it is an interaction with someone else or something inside you. Avoid displacing your anger toward individuals who are not the cause of your anger.
  
• De-escalating with a “time out” when you recognize the signs of anger. Let significant others know that you may need to walk away to calm down when you’re really angry. Take a deep breath. Go to a quiet place, and continue to use deep breathing to calm down.
  
• Examining your options for behaving when you are angry, and visualize how you might respond. Recognize that you are responsible for your anger. Situations may contribute to your feeling angry, but you are responsible for how you behave. You may be legitimately and appropriately frustrated with something, but you don’t have to be inappropriately hostile or hurtful to others. You are bigger than your feelings and can make choices about how you respond. Work on developing more positive behaviors to replace the negative ones.
  
• Learning how to assert yourself, and talk to the person who is triggering your anger. Use the physical and mental energy that is generated from feeling angry to channel your response to the situation. Help the person to see how their behavior is affecting you in a way that they can hear and is not threatening. Use “I statements” that describe how you feel, rather than accusing the other person.
  
• Recognizing that it’s your responsibility to express yourself appropriately to others, but their responsibility to deal with their own feelings in response.
  
• Developing activities that help you cope with anger. Exercise can help to diminish feelings of agitation and frustration. Practicing relaxation techniques on a daily basis can also help in coping with anger.

Other Useful Sites:

Controlling Anger - Before it Controls You (APA)

Road Rage (U South Florida)

Dealing with an Aggressive Person

When is my Anger a Problem? (GW University)