Here are ten things that you can do with your iPad once you realize it was probably better to sink that large chunk of cash into your child’s college fund, pay some past due bills or maybe get a new laptop that actually does more than one thing at a time.

Serving Tray: You won’t have to worry about running out of serving trays when the holidays come around. No more serving up cheese and crackers on trays from the dollar store. You can serve in style with your Apple iPad. Perhaps you can upload a festive photo so basic appetizers look more appealing.

Executive Digital Picture Frame: You’re way too cool to have a $75 digital picture frame on your executive sized desk, so upload those charming pictures of your loved ones to the iPad you waited in line all night for. Place it on your desk and revel in the fact that you don’t really know what else to do with it.

Children’s Toy: When you realize that you’ve just purchased an over-priced iTouch that won’t fit in your pocket, give it to your child. While their toddler friends are still struggling with an outdated Etch-A-Sketch, your kiddo will look like a total snot using their iPad to draw pictures of something unrecognizable.

Heated Dog Bed: Fido won’t miss out on this kick ass piece of technology when you’re done with it. Put the iPad in the bottom of the dog’s bed and you have a friend for life. Nice, warm bed for doggie and empty wallet for you.

Colorful Door Mat: Imagine having your guests come by and wipe their feet on an expensive piece of technology. With the touch screen, your friends and relatives can change the design of the mat with a simple swipe of their dirty feet.

Fling that Tune: Days at the park will never be the same with your iPad frisbee. Upload some rockin’ iTunes and fling that iPad across the park with this modern day frisbee.

Shield: You can use your iPad as a shield to hide behind when people laugh at you because you now have to carry your laptop AND your iPad with you because it’s NOT A COMPUTER.

Life Raft: If you see someone who can’t swim, throw ‘em your iPad. After all, you’ve already sunk an enormous amount of money into it. Why not save someone who didn’t?

Portable Ouija Board: Once you’re done spending money uploading useless apps that you probably won’t use next month, find an app for a Ouija Board. You and your friends who stayed up all night sucking down expensive Starbucks coffee can predict the future and cry when you read, “The Apple iPad will be $99 at Walmart next year.”

Bookshelf: When you finally realize it’s much cooler to read a REAL book, hang a few brackets on the wall. Use that fancy, shmancy iPad as a bookshelf to display books the way they are supposed to be published: in paper.

To address Jeff C. directly, the iPhone is not actually subsidized by AT&T. Apple chose to use AT&T as the carrier because they are the online that would allow Apple complete control over the product, pricing and service.

-Mike