Giving and Getting Active Consent

• Tell your partner how you feel and what you expect or want to happen.
• Communicate your "no(s)" or dislikes firmly. Use words!
• Let your partner know how you feel and what you expect or want to happen.
• Listen to and respect your partner's wishes.
• Ask each step of the way if each level of intimacy is OK.

Even if your partner is wearing what you perceive to be sexy, this does not necessarily imply a desire for sex. It is your responsibility to seek clear, explicit signals from your partner, and to respect your partner's wishes at all times.

Rules to Remember

• Leave the situation immediately, if your partner does not respect your wishes. This clearly communicates “no.”
• A sexual partner has a right to say no at any time.
• Sexual activity that escalates to a certain point does not imply consent to go any farther.
• If your partner freezes or gives little response stop and Talk about the situation.
• Never presume that silence or a lack of resistance means yes.

Alcohol and Consent
Alcohol and other drugs reduce your ability to:

• make rational decisions
• to communicate clearly
• understand the consequences of your actions
• to pick up on danger signs
• to take steps to protect yourself

Likewise, alcohol can impair your partner's judgment and willingness to respect your wishes. Not surprisingly, alcohol is found to be involved in 84% of all acquaintance rapes. The risk of rape, sexual assault, and sexual coercion can be greatly reduced by limiting your consumption of alcohol in situations where sexual activity (even what seems like harmless flirting) is likely to occur. You can further reduce your risk by never getting intoxicated with strangers.

An intoxicated partner cannot legally give consent. Intoxication is no excuse for not respecting a partner's wishes nor does it provide an excuse or legal defense in cases of rape and sexual coercion.