Interpersonal skills are all the behaviors and feelings that exist within all of us that influence our interactions with others. Whether we are shy or bold, quiet or passive, domineering or cooperative are all different examples of characteristics of interpersonal skills. How do we develop our interpersonal skills? We don’t really… at least not consciously. These skills are learned from watching our parents, the television and our peers. Children imitate in an attempt to learn. Most of what we believe to be true about ourselves and the world around us, we do not stop and examine. It is only when problems arise that we are given a glimpse into our interpersonal skills and the potential for change that exists.

Healthy interpersonal skills reduce stress, reduce conflict, improve communication, enhance intimacy, increase understanding, and promote joy.

Interpersonal Skills Assessment
Determine the personal relevance of each statement to how you see yourself right now.

How Often do You...

• seek approval and affirmation from others, and I am afraid of criticism.
• guess at what normal behavior is, and I usually feel as if I am different from other people.
• isolate myself from and am afraid of people in authority roles.
• am not able to appreciate my own accomplishments and good deeds.
• tend to have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
• get frightened or stressed when I am in the company of an angry person.
• order to avoid a conflict, I find it easier to lie than tell the truth.
• have judged myself harshly. I am my own worst critic, and I am harder on myself than I am on others.
• feel that I am being taken advantage of by individuals and society in general; I often feel victimized.
• take myself very seriously, and I view all of relationships just as seriously.
• have problems developing and maintaining intimate relationships.
• feel guilty when I stand up for myself or take care of my needs first, instead of giving in or taking care of others’ needs first.
• feel responsible for others and find it easier to have concern for others that for myself.
• become impulsive and act too quickly, before considering other actions or possible consequences.
• have difficulty in being able to feel or to express feelings; I feel out of touch with my feelings.

If You found yourself Identifying with a number of this statements, you could likely benefit from working on your interpersonal skills. These Skills Consist of: