It's All About Attitude!
Get a new attitude!
Decided you need an attitude change? Are more of your thoughts pessimistic than optimistic? Our attitude about life begins developing in childhood. It takes time and persistence to change it, but it can be done!
Step 1: Believe in yourself.
To believe in yourself, you must know yourself. In order to know yourself, you must experience life.
- Take
some risks. Do some of the things you have on your action plans, but don't
worry yet if you aren’t successful. Just give your best effort.
- Don't
compare yourself to others. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. As a unique
individual, you need only worry about whether or not you are doing right
by the gifts that you have been given.
- Focus on the positive. Avoid hostile attitudes by thinking about what you have, not about what you don’t have.
Step 2: Change your inner conversations.
The second major step in changing our attitudes is changing our inner conversations.
- RECOGNIZE
pessimistic thoughts.
- STOP. Next
time you recognize a negative thought, imagine a huge stop sign and refuse
to continue with the thought.
- REPLACE. Replace
the thought with one that is objective, honest, and positive.
|
If you find yourself thinking… |
Then change your attitude and tell yourself |
|---|---|
| RECOGNIZE AND STOP | REPLACE |
| I’m no good at writing papers. It’s hopeless. | It doesn’t help me to be so negative. I’ll just start writing what I can and get help from the writing lab. |
| I’m never going to be ready for the chem. test now, I might as well not even try. | Knowing something is better than knowing nothing. I’ll learn as much as I can and start earlier next time. |
| I don’t understand why it’s so hard to make friends. I’m such a loser. | I just have to keep trying and getting involved in things I’m interested in. Making friends takes time. |
Step 3: Affirmation
Optimism is greatly determined by our expectations. Our mind takes in a lot of signals from the world in order to create those expectations. We are in control of some of those signals, and we can deliberately send signals which work to our advantage. Affirmations are a concrete way of doing this.
- An
affirmation is a statement of something you want. It should be personal,
positive, and in the present tense. If you think, “I won’t miss this free
throw” or “I won’t fail the test”, what your mind latches onto is the concept
of missing the throw or failing the test. A better way to phrase this would
be “I am making this free throw” or “I will pass this test”.
- Affirmation
is not “I’ll try…” or “I am going to…” These words leave room for NOT following
through. “Try” and “Going to” are in the future and the student can always
put them off until later. Use words like I can! I am! I will!
- Think
of a goal that you want to accomplish or something you want. Then repeat
the goal using “I am” or “I will”. You will believe it and make it happen!
- It is a good idea to think of a trigger mechanism for saying your affirmation ten times a day. This might be each time you look at your watch, a sticky note on your mirror or in a book, or every time you enter your residence hall.
Step 4: Commit to Improvement.
As long as you believe that your best effort tomorrow will be better than your best effort today, there is room for hope. Hope will help you maintain that positive attitude.
- Don't
be afraid to look honestly at who you are right now. If you are falling short
of your goal, evaluate why, make a plan for your next step, commit to getting
better, and move forward. You have to be aware of and focused on reaching
your goals.
- Learn from mistakes. Rather than dwell on failures, use each one to
learn how to do it better. You got a “D” on the exam? How will you prepare
differently next time to get a better grade?
- Challenge yourself with your goals and reward yourself continuously. A simple remedy for feeling unmotivated is to begin at a set time and act as if you were motivated. Start on the most interesting part of the project and you’ll find that your level of interest will increase (Schmitt, 1992).
I Can, I Am, I Will!
I AM
I AM somebody!
I AM able!
I AM important!
I CAN
I CAN achieve those goals I seek, by reinforcing myself daily with positive thoughts – by focusing my mind on achievements and seeing myself as being successful.
I CAN prevent thoughts of failure or fear from stopping my forward movement. I know that even when I make mistakes, I can go on toward my goal and gain success.
I CAN believe in myself, and insist that others do also.
I WILL
I WILL remember that I AM a special person, and that I CAN do whatever I need to do to find happiness.
I WILL act on this knowledge. I shall not dream – I WILL act and accomplish my goals and desires.
I WILL believe in myself, so that others may have faith in me.
I WILL be happy!
I WILL be confident!
I WILL respect all others, but I WILL not let anyone tear down my strengths.
PATIENCE
I AM! I CAN! I WILL!
Because I know these things about myself, I will have PATIENCE when my world is in turmoil, or when a mountain temporarily blocks my view.
I know there will be problems and pain at times in my life, but I WILL have patience and endurance because I AM, I CAN, I WILL be what I want to be.