Relationship/Dating Violence in LGBTQI Relationships

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex (LGBTQI) relationship violence is violence that occurs in the context of same-gender or queer intimate relationships.  Like heterosexual relationship violence, violence in LGBTQI relationships involves the conscious manipulation and control of one person by another through the use of threats, coercion, humiliation and/or force. 
Relationship/Dating violence in the LGBTQI community occurs at the same rate as within heterosexual relationships.  Click here to see a model of the abuse of power and control in lesbian and gay relationships.

Although many of the tactics used in relationships with an abusive partner are the same for LGBTQI relationships and heterosexual relationships, there are some specific abusive behaviors that reflect the larger context of homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, and heterosexism surrounding LGBTQI relationships. 

These include threats to reveal the sexual or gender identity of a partner to one's:

• Employer
• Landlord
• Family
• Friend
• Immigration (if a non-US citizen)

A person who is acting abusively and who wishes to control the thoughts and actions of their intimate partner may try using these types of threats precisely because they are particularly effective in a society that does not fully support the rights of LGBTQI people. Further, both survivors and perpetrators of LGBTQI violence can be isolated from the wider, yet marginalized LGBTQI communities. Many LGBTQI survivors feel a great deal of shame and self-blame for being in an abusive relationship. People who are known to have been in abusive relationships may also be ostracized by members of LGBTQI communities, which can lead to a loss of support that may negatively affect long-term recovery