Signs that your partner is abusive
Look over the following questions. Think about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts or continually puts down the other person, it's abuse.
Does your partner...
- Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
- Put down your accomplishments or goals?
- Call you names?
- Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
- Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
- Hit walls, throw things, try to scare you?
- Tell you that you are nothing without them?
- Treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
- Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
- Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
- Blame you for how they feel or act?
- Pressure you sexually for things you aren't ready for?
- Make you feel like there "is no way out" of the relationship?
- Prevent you from doing things you want - like spending time with your friends or family?
- Act jealous of other people in your life?
- Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to "teach you a lesson"?
- Accuse you of cheating or sleeping around?
- Threaten to kill him/herself if you leave?
- Deny your feelings?
- Never takes responsibility?
- Tell you that you will never find anyone that treats you/puts up with you like they do?
- Destroys your property (i.e. car, cell phone, computer)?
- Hurts your loved ones or pets?
Do You...
- Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
- Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner's behavior?
- Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
- Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
- Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
- Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
- Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
- No longer contact your friends and family because your partner doesn’t want you to?
- Want to leave the relationship but feel like there is no way out?
If any of these are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. See the Link: National, Local and Campus Resources for who to contact.
