Sexual Assault: Myths and Realities

Misconceptions

Reality

Rape is an act of sex and passion.

The motivation for rape is to exert power and control over another.  Although often times we don’t believe this, it is obvious when we think about prison rape of men (the new guy is raped by the powerful guy to show him “who’s in charge), and it is also apparent when thinking about adults raping and molesting children (children often do not tell out of fear and/or threat by the older/more powerful person-they are certainly not being raped because they are “asking for it,” or dressing “provocatively” as adult women are often blamed for doing).  Society has influenced us in believing that once a woman is in her teens and throughout adult-hood, rape is all of a sudden about sex and something that SHE can prevent-rape is ALWAYS about power and control and ALWAYS the fault of the person that rapes-age of the survivor does not have anything to do with it.

It is not your fault if you

have sex with someone that

is drunk or under the influence of drugs.

If you are drunk, you are still responsible for your actions, just as you are for murder or drunk driving.  Furthermore, under NC State law, someone who is intoxicated or under the influence of drugs cannot give consent.  *During the Fall 2006 semester at NC State, 90% of the reported rape cases involved alcohol or other drugs.   

Men do not get raped or sexually assaulted. 

1 in 6 men are sexually assaulted or abused in their lifetime. Typically, the perpetrator is a heterosexual male (Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault, 2007)
About 3% of American men — a total of 2.78 million men — have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime (Tjaden, 1998).  In 2003, 1 in every 10 rape victims were male (2003 National Crime Victimization Study).

African-American men commit most rapes, with white women as their

victims.

In 93% of assaults, the rapist and survivor are of the same race. In 3.3% of sexual assault cases, black men raped white women, while in 3.4% of the cases, white men
raped black women (Tjaden, 2006). The myth of the black rapist is rooted to the racist history of our country.

Sexual violence does not happen in the LGBTQI community

A university study found that, of those identifying as lesbian, gay, and bisexual students, 42.4% (30.6% female and 11.8% male) and, of those identifying as heterosexual students, 21.4% (17.8% female and 3.6% male) indicated they had been forced to have sex against their will (Duncan, 1990).

There is a “right way” to respond to a rape situation, both during and after a rape

Most people who are raped, whether by a stranger or an acquaintance – just want to live through the experience. During the attack, many report feeling that their life was in danger even if physical force or a weapon were not used.  In fact, the US judicial system recognizes this fear as in most states, a rape conviction carries the highest punishment next to murder. 

Additionally, many survivors describe a feeling of numbness and/or “going into survival mode” during the rape-in these instances, fighting back, using self-defense skills, and/or screaming are not what the survivor is able to do, however this NEVER makes the rape the survivor’s fault.  In every case, the best thing a survivor can do is SURVIVE. 
There are many stereotypes about how a “real rape survivor” acts after they are raped.  Some of these include, telling someone, crying/shaking, and not having sex.  These are all MYTHS.  While for some people, these may happen, for many others, they do not.  Everyone responds differently.  In fact, 42% of campus rape victims tell no one about the assault (Warshaw, 1994). It is also very common for rape survivors to engage in consensual sexual relationships soon after the assault to try and regain a sense of control over their sex lives.  Further, many survivors feel numbness, shock and denial and may act “normal,” and/or express no emotion.  Any response to the assault – whether it looks like the right response to you – is their way of dealing with the rape.  For more descriptions on common responses, visit Common Responses After Surviving Sexual Violence.